Close to my heart

2006-08-14T04:32:00.000-07:00

hehe.. here to blog!! hahax.. ytd was monthlyversary worx.. hahax.. bleahz.. well.. so happy!! 1 month le lehZ.. hahax.. cool man.. nvm... got lots and lots of months ahead... i hope... hehe.. bleahz.. well.. May we last forever and ever more!! and always happy happy and very loving.. hehe.. well.. nth much to blog about! EXAMS coming SOON!! kaoZ.. this thur lehZ.. sianZ.. nvm.. must jia you jia you!! everyone oso must OK!! JIA YOU!!

2006-07-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

OUCH! just knock my head.. haiyo.. the com table so low.. i mean the sch's one.. crawl in to put in the mouse.. then in the end hit my head.. *pain pain* but its ok le i guess.. used to hitting my head le.. hahax.. nvm.. after awhile the pain will go away.. its always like that de maZ.. hahax.. bleahz.. so i blogged again!! hahax.. not that dead anymore rite?? hahax.. well.. just now saw some preserved bodies used for scientific studies.. didnt feel good when i stepped into the room.. dunno why.. just felt like i am suffocating.. yup.. haiZ.. dun like the feeling at all.. yup yup.. so quickly got out of the room when we are allowed to.. yup.. well.. exam results for those tests that passed

Life science:A
Biosci pract:A

hahax.. not bad huh?? am coping quite well lorZ.. hahax.. bleahz.. YAY!! i got sgh sponsorship liaoZ.. hahax.. nice sia.. $$$$ hahax.. bleahz.. well.. sch is still ok.. not much happening.. hehe.. noe what date is tml?? and noe whats the big day? if u forget horz.. i dunno u SIA!! hahax.. hp is taken away from me.. if u want can call my home.. and can msn or email me.. yup.. sms me is useless.. hehe.. nvm.. i try to ask my father to let me have back my hp for that nite lorZ.. hahax.. bleahz.. well.. kk.. i blog till here baZ.. yup yup.. anyway.. we are still quite fine.. i hope we will be together forever! =) well.. thats my ******** WISH!! hahax.. bleahz.. take care guys!! tata~

2006-07-02T21:59:00.000-07:00

HAIYO!!! why so STRESSFUL!!!??? haiz.. got 2 ica in one week.. thats very bad.. cuz for one ica i have to study like siao and the other ica i dun think i will have enuf time to do it well!! how??! walao.. stupid draw lots.. actually supposedly i chose the 2 more weeks later then present one.. then ppl complain not fair.. kaoZ.. first come first serve can?? dots.. no choice.. gotta rush.. rush.. RUSH!! haiz.. just updating for u all.. later u guys say i forget abt u all sia.. hahax.. bleahz.. go rush le!! sayonarA~

2006-06-27T23:22:00.000-07:00

YO YO!! hahax.. finally my dead blog recieved some bit of injection of life in it.. hahax.. not bad rite?? hahax.. well.. i actually dun have much to blog abt.. hahax.. well.. my days go by with nth much interesting.. hahax.. yup.. project project project!! hahax.. thats how my hols are passed.. yup.. i think 1 week only go out 1 time.. hahax.. actually not only 1 day larZ.. hahax.. bleahz.. i mean like as in one day dun needa bring any books.. just go out and play and enjoy! hahax.. yup.. the rest of the time is just like after project then go out lorZ.. but only for a short while de larZ.. hahax.. so yup.. nth interesting.. hahax.. well.. i and her are getting on just fine.. hahax.. only ytd i made her either sad or angry.. i not very sure.. she just doesnt seem happy.. yup.. but i did cheer her up in the end.. or at least it seems so.. cuZ she was laughing and smiling.. thats sth very good rite?? hehe.. well.. all the stupid thots i kept to myself.. not letting her noe.. cuZ even if she noes she cant do anything rite?? yup yup.. dun wanna trouble ppl.. SEE!! i am such a nice guy!! hahax.. bleahz.. i made up my mind.. i wun ever go ask other gals for their number.. as in gals that i dunno larZ.. yup yup.. cuZ i dun want her to be affected.. she is the one i hope to be with for the rest of my short short life.. so i NVR wanna lose her! i just wanna shout it out loud "I JUST LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!" hmmm... AIYA!! alot of things to do sia.. so BUSY!! hahax.. and also so many b'daes are coming le.. sobx sobx.. going to go broke sia.. HAIYO!!! how can like that.. hahax.. but nvm.. i can manage.. hahahahahahahahax.. kk.. nth much to say le.. yup yup.. TAKE CARE EVERYONE WHO EVEN READS THIS!! hahax.. tata ~gone

Something SpecIal: i am getting my SGH sponsorship!! :) they offered me.. all i have to do is just take it up!! hahax.. worth celebrating?? yeah.. BUT NOT WITH A WHOLE BIG GANG OF ALL MY FRENZ!! hahax... bleahz...

2006-05-25T23:19:00.000-07:00

ok larZ nu er.. i post almost everyday ok?? hahax.. dun be angry larZ.. not as if i everyday oso got time maz.. hahax.. bleahz.. anyway.. must i always feel so insecure?? cant i feel more secure?? cant i feel more confident abt myself?? i dunno.. after some heartwrenching loves.. i lost lots of confidence abt myself.. yes.. i found back some.. but not all ya.. yup.. i hate to feel insecure.. i really would like to feel very secure and very happy everyday.. so is the bottom line for me to not love at all?? i need reassurance.. cuZ my hope is not in the lord?? i think that is quite true.. i dunno.. i think i have not shown enough interest to get a closer relationship with god!! hmm.. bad me.. hahax.. well.. i keep finding reasons and ways to escape from my mistakes.. YUE SIANG!!! u must wake up now!! b4 u slip into eternal separation with god!! *slaps slaps*

gals tend to not be expressive abt their liking for guys issit?? hmmm.. guess so.. but its like.. sms and chatting on msn doesnt seem to assure as much as wat u can see and feel rite?? hmm.. i make sure i let the gal noe i like her.. though i will hide till i have enough courage to do that!! hahax.. but in the end i still let her noe.. thats me.. so that the gal will be assure of my love for her.. hmm.. why am i complaining?? haiyo.. *slaps slaps* stupid me.. hmmm... well.. gals tend to be more shy rite?? hmm.. i duno.. hahax.. i am away from my frenZ!! hahax.. so i am typing so much.. hahax.. bleahz..

Prayer:
Father lord in heaven.. i pray for a sign.. i dunno wat sign shld i ask for.. but i really would like to have a sign.. to tell me whether she is the one for me.. the one u have planned for me.. i noe u will answer if we ask faithfully and in ur will.. lord.. show me.. thank you lord.. i will accept everything.. even if it is against my will..

i like u.. i really do.. but sometimes.. things mite change just over time.. thats what i am worried abt.. i am not afraid i mite change.. but u.. cuZ to me.. u are like an angel in the sky.. while i am just a lowly earthly man.. living in a small little world.. u are so special while i am so normal.. how can i ever be with u?? i will climb the highest mountains and swim in the deepest ocean just to find u.. and just to be with u.. that ...... i promise u...

~gone.. the insane man

2006-05-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

well.. now got lots of time to slack again.. hahax.. bleahz.. well.. but just had a killing morning.. 3 hrs of lecture and 1 hr of tutorial.. almost died.. hahax.. bleahz.. luckily ended in time for me to get my meals and get refreshed!! hahax.. 2 hours break.. didnt really achieved much.. hahax.. did wat i have to do and want to do!! EAT!! hahx.. and had to photocopy some stuff at the lib.. yup.. now is cashcard payment.. wow.. so high tech worx.. hahax.. bleahz.. cuZ i drag my printing for 3 days le maZ.. so no choice have to do today.. hahax.. bleahz..

sch life is still ok.. not at all very stressful.. well... not very larZ.. but stress lvl is still there.. hahax.. bleahz.. and one kpo fren is behind me!! hahax.. bleahz.. trying to read as i type.. so aint going to type much larZ.. hahax.. anything just pop by and talk to me on msn.. hahax.. bleahz.. oh finally she got the hint.. hahax.. go away le.. hahax.. bleahz.. well.. b4 she comes back..

hmmm.. well.. i think i am falling deeper and deeper.. but well.. at least its not going to be a one-sided thingy!! hahx.. bleahz.. i hope it can last for awhile.. i try to get the courage to ask.. yup yup.. everyday seeing her.. really feel like just hugging her.. haiZ.. nvm.. must control!! hahax.. bleahz.. haiyo.. my fren really very kpo! hahax.. bleahz.. kk larZ.. will have to keep my feelings in check baZ.. yup.. listening to songs.. hehe.. and i shall end here!! take care guys ~gone

yoyo

2006-05-17T22:28:00.000-07:00

back back!! hee.. life is so fun at poly!! slacking in the computer plaza doing nth.. must wait for half an hour more then got lesson.. haiyo.. hahax.. well.. nu er!! dun be sad.. dun give up too!! cuZ lao pa is always there for u!! just give me a call or sms if u need help k?? yup yup.. lao pa though not very smart.. but i think still can help de baZ.. yup.. i will help as much as i can..

well.. poly frenZ are real fun and frenly.. but then they always say alot of stuff horZ.. and then i dun understand de.. hahax.. how can like that?? hahax.. and then i am the solo chinese guy in class larZ.. then 2 gals keep sayin stuff abt me and a gal.. sucks sia.. hahax.. well.. its like.. whats wrong with me?? its not like i choose to be the only chinese guy in class one lehZ.. not my fault.. i dun care.. bleahZ.. well.. at least life is not that hectic like sec and pri sch.. and we dun have a fixed classroom but floating around the whole sch!! hahax.. at least can walk walk.. not like in sec sch need sit in the classroom for the whole day.. its bOring!! yup yup.. still ccaless.. dunno what to join lehZ.. dun feel like getting tied down by extra stuff.. hahax.. at least got more freedom to do my own recreation.. hehe.. isnt that cool?? yup yup.. hiding sadness behind a happy face?? who noes?? hehe.. that is.. who is sensitive enuf to noe?? hahax.. bleahz.. its ok.. i can still get by de.. yup yup.. why add sadness to other ppl's life?? yup yup.. take it urself better.. k guys!! take care!! oh one more thing.. i think i am starting to like a gal le.. how?? i dun want!! or do i want?? help me!! argh.. i am scared.. wat if.. i get hurt again.. wat if.. its a one sided love again?? many many wat if!! haiZ..

boring

2006-05-04T23:32:00.000-07:00

well.. breaks are so boring.. cuZ they are too long.. haiyo.. so slpy now larZ.. and later a lecture for 1 hr.. u see.. wait for 3 hr jus for 1 lecture which only last for a pathetic 1 hr.. haiyo.. BORING!! now sitting in the lib again.. hahax.. AGAIN.. hee.. with my frenz.. some studying some slping others SLACKING.. hahax.. bleahz.. well.. nw my frenZ starting to play lame games.. hahax.. so violent!! playing with wat?? a skittles sweet!! dotz dotz dotz rite?? hahax bleahz.. kk.. till next time!! hehe..

haiZ..

2006-05-04T06:07:00.000-07:00

sad sad.. well.. i dunno how to describe sia.. there is this feeling.. and it wun go away.. very stubborn rite.. well.. i will type it out.. see whether it goes away or not.. hmmm.. it goes like this.. yup..

all of a sudden.. everything has changed.. many things went back to normal.. yup.. even my relationship.. it has returned to the starting point.. the place where there was only hi and bye between me and her.. and 1 word or a few words answer.. then i start to probe.. then communication cut.. yup.. i really dunno why.. really dun understand.. someone enlighten me?? horoscope: cancer meaning?? very emotional and sensitive.. well.. maybe i am OVERsensitive.. dun noe who will read my blog at all cuZ i long time didnt update!! hahax.. bleahz.. well.. i dunno larZ.. i am those kind who put on fronts at times.. when i am sad i dun wanna show i am sad.. but if u are sensitive enuf.. u would noe.. but then.. i sometimes dun even wanna leak any loopholes for u to catch me.. hahax.. i close my doors.. and only open to a few.. if u are not among the few.. dun be sad.. not that i dun trust u.. maybe its becuZ i dunno how to start to talk abt that kind of stuff to u!! yup..

i m happy.. but i am sad inside.. yup.. people see me as a talkative and cheerful guy.. always laughing smilling and talking.. how many really noe how i feel.. not many.. yup.. well.. nu er and mel noes me quite well.. they noe how i feel sometimes.. but other times i dun even tell them.. yup.. well.. i really dun wanna feel like that.. i really hope i can find someone to be able to just share probs wit me.. i noe i have a few people who can..yup.. i must cherish them!! i dun wanna regret after losing them.. yup.. dunno dunno dunno!!!! forget it.. yup.. well.. i shall stop here.. yup.. take care guys.. tata..

yoyo

2006-05-02T21:46:00.000-07:00

hihi!! back again ya!! hehe.. bleahz.. long time no update le.. hehe.. nth much to update abt ma.. so didnt update lorZ.. yup.. now using sch com to post.. yup.. forget to bring my laptop.. cuZ ytd JUST COME!! hehe.. cool sia.. but quite big.. next time i maybe take a pic of it then post online ok?? hahax.. bleahz.. very fast com.. and then i can get internet access from almost any wireless guys in my block!! hahax.. free sia.. hahax.. hehe.. except sherman.. who locked his internet.. hahax.. bad boy!!

well.. anyway.. abt my nick name.. nth much larZ.. just talking abt stuff like sch returns to normal.. and i am still able to mix around with people and make freNz!! hehe.. and no more long hours of working but short hours of schling!! hahax.. YAY!! hahax.. though no money liaoZ.. but then at least can rest more and not so stressed.. though must have assignments to do.. hahax.. but i dun mind.. dun have to meet quota everyday and talk to boring and non-responsive machines.. its such a good thing u noe?? hahax.. YAY YAY YAY!! hehe.. yup yup.. well.. though some lectures are real boring!! hehe.. kk.. rushing for lecture.. take care guys!! tata..

BIG BIG NEWS!!

2006-03-31T21:36:00.000-08:00

I AM ATTACHED LE!!! HEHE.. YAY!! JUST TODAY ONLY!! ok.. enough of caps.. hehe.. i am just so happy n excited ya.. but worried in a way too.. yup yup.. alot of wat ifs.. n i really cant predict how long it will last ya.. but i hope it will be for a lifetime!! JIA YOU JIA YOU!!!

ok.. some interesting facts.. my b'dae n her b'dae.. mine 12/7.. her's 7/12.. cool rite?? hahax.. bleahz.. she is 1.60+m tall.. haiyo.. dunno why cannot find someone who is shorter than me.. but then.. this is just how love makes people's requirements go crazy?? hahax.. heck care.. at least i am with her ya.. hehe.. she looks.. very pretty.. mite not be to everyone.. but at least she is to me.. hehe.. bah.. i dun think many of u will noe wat me talking abt.. hehe.. depends on whether i wanna tell ya or not lorZ.. hahax.. bleahz..

met her from church.. didnt noe her at all.. until last yr.. hahax.. i thot she was a new comer.. hahax.. cuZ like nvr see her b4 ma.. hahax.. bleahz.. then she called my name.. i was quite shocked.. a new comer actually can pronounce my name almost near correctly?? hahax.. then actually found out.. she came a few times b4.. hahax.. when i saw her younger days photo.. i got some image larZ.. hahax.. but shrug.. then started noticing her.. started to like her.. then we talked.. erm.. msn.. sms.. phone.. hahax.. yup.. talk alot alot.. but most are nonsense.. hahax.. bleahz.. then i dragged and dragged.. then today i asked her.!! hahax.. bleahz.. i needed to muster up alot of courage worz.. hehe.. [31/3/06]

okok.. now.. enough of that.. well.. anyway.. nu er arhZ nu er.. wat happened happened sia?? when u got the time.. call me call me.. and tell me.. maybe i can help u.. yup yup.. worried de lehZ.. u my only nu er.. how to lose me?? i will always be by ur side de.. yup.. take care!!!!

tata guys!! ~gone~

Untitled

2006-03-07T05:00:00.000-08:00

hahax.. really cant think of a title ma.. hahax.. kk.. let me try to rmb somethings so that i can actually type quite a long one.. to satisfy my nu er.. hahax.. bleahz.. well.. these few days.. working working working.. yup.. everyday slp 10pm.. wake up 6.40am.. leave the house at 7.15am.. then starting work at 8am.. work and work.. then 5pm go home.. wah boring life huh.. wats more.. frenZ dun usually go out at niteZ.. so i everyday go home after work.. BORED BORED BORED!!!!!! well.. feel so lonely when working.. end up always sing to the machine.. u guys who noe me noe me very talkative one.. then suddenly only face the machine.. CAN kill u noe.. but lucky got the radio.. yup.. omg.. i suddenly love another JJ song.. dunno wat song name issit.. but very nice.. is got the i think korean word de.. wat means i love you that one.. wah very very nice.. but then horZ.. nvr consistently play on YES933.. i wanna hear one!!

okok.. for my o level results.. L1R5 16.. L1R4 13.. yup yup.. good riteZ?? hahax.. bleahz.. i was quite disappointed by the way.. but.. at least its good.. hehe.. my parents are happy abt it.. i was aiming for a 15 or below.. but at least not far from 15.. hahax.. bleahz.. well.. got into NYP NURSING!!! I WANNA BE A NURSE!! hahax.. yup.. nursing is a good career.. many people ask me why i wanna be a nurse.. i told them i oso not sure.. just a strong passion for it.. yup.. i hope i can overcome the mental blockages.. and become a successful nurse.. yup.. hahax.. TML my bro POP!! passing out parade from army larZ.. haha.. i have my bro back at home again!! hahax.. good good.. not so boring already.. hahax.. kk.. i stop here.. guys take care!!

yoyo

2006-01-02T00:45:00.000-08:00

back back.. for once.. hehe.. well.. the lazy and busy me finally has time to sit down in front of my com to update my blog.. hahax.. had lots of activities during the last few weeks.. so busy until got so tired.. and even sick now... hmmm... now let me recap what happened.. since my last post.. oh yes.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

ok.. let me think.. for the first week of december.. i was working for my father.. at my father's company i mean.. yup.. nth much interesting happened there.. so not going into details.. yup yup.. oh ya.. i really dun feel good missing so many of my sec 4 Devotion class outings.. just so happen that on those days i have other things on.. so crappy.. well.. no choice.. hope the next time they organise i would be able to go.. yup yup.. really miss the time we have together.. so much fun!!!=) hehe.. even though lee wei liang gets on my nerves at times.. i still feel that i miss his getting on my nerves too.. hahax.. at least there was one who makes some fun in my life.. hahax.. 4 Devotion `05 of PHS ROX 4EVA!!!

had a youth camp during the 15 to the 17.. that was quite fun.. with the games and all that.. ah.. during the workshops.. i almost fell asleep.. hahax.. bleahz.. one is boring, the other tired.. i was a group leader.. who lacked the ability to bring up team spirit.. yup.. me noe how to do things.. but dunno how to really lead.. yup yup.. as one says lack leadership qualities.. ah.. anyway.. we only get to slp at around 12am.. T.T waking at 7am.. about 6 to 7 hours of slp each day.. where got enuf.. haha.. well.. on the last day was an event.. yup yup.. too bad my nu er couldnt go.. yup.. it would have been so much fun.. well.. there was a treasure hunt game.. not bad.. very chim though.. hahax.. it was quite ok.. yup.. ran the whole of labrador park.. hehe.. after that had a bbq.. wow.. the food was nice nice.. yummmmmmmmmm... hehe.. stayed there till nite.. then made my way back.. with my bro of cuZ.. hahax.. ok.. then one day of rest on sunday..

on monday.. was off to malaysia EARLY IN THE MORNING!!! gosh.. didnt even rest enuf.. hahax.. hmm.. well.. in singapore we complain 30 mins as being long.. well.. in malaysia.. there is nth such as reaching different states in 30 mins.. at least an hour or 2.. yup.. well.. on the first day.. the bus somehow the fan belt snapped.. so waited on the highways for an hour b4 we could start moving again.. why so long?? cuZ malaysians take a long time to get things done.. hahax.. yup yup.. so riteZ.. the first day we had real good food.. something like a repayment larZ.. hahax.. well.. went to visit places in kuala lumpur.. yup.. hahax.. very funny.. got a gal sitting in front of me.. looks pretty of cuZ.. but then horZ.. the funny thing is horZ.. i got to noe almost all the youngsters on the bus.. except for her.. hahax.. she seems to be a quiet person.. shrug.. dunno.. hehe.. the first day passed just like that lorZ..

second day.. went to erm.. penang.. ah yes.. penang.. well.. dun wanna talk about where the tour brought us to.. cuZ i cant rmb much too.. hahax.. only noe went to quite some temples.. yup.. ah there was one temple.. climb the steps horZ.. i oso pek.. so high larZ.. but nevertheless i still could climb to the top without collapsing.. hahax.. come on.. am i so weak?? hehe.. yup yup.. nth much to see too larZ.. just some statues of buddhas.. yup yup.. then got free time.. just beside the hotel i stay in got a shopping complex.. well as u all noe woman love to shop.. and my mum is no exception.. went shopping.. hahax.. and then went bowling.. yup yup.. got 2 strikes.. so happy.. hahax..

3rd day.. nth much happened too.. visit places lorZ.. then went to their nite market.. wah.. there really can bargain like siao.. hahax.. then shop shop lorZ.. oh ya.. then that day.. found a cyber cafe.. asked the youngsters in the tour.. then we go together.. hahax.. yup.. hehe.. till now i still only noe the gal as Gen(this is the correct spelling of part of her name larZ).. yup.. then after that played arcade.. felt like a kid.. hehe.. but it was alrite.. as long as it is fun..

went to cameroon high lands the next day.. the bus ride up was horrendous.. twisting and turning like nutZ.. lucky can take it.. then there horZ.. wah weather so cooling.. hehe.. my family due to the large number of people.. got a apartment with 4 rooms.. so we stay together.. hahax.. nice.. but didnt have much time to enjoy that.. the next day we were on our way down.. oh.. the way down was even worse.. so i didnt feel very well for that day.. yup yup.. on the way back to singapore.. i and that gal finally talked.. for a short while.. yup yup.. just enough to noe some details of her and of her name.. Genevieve.. yup yup.. hahax.. i always thot she was around my age or 1 year younger.. guess wat.. she is 3 years younger.. hahax.. she looks so.. mature i should say.. yup yup..

once back from malaysia.. the next day carolling.. until midnight that is.. yup.. very very tired le.. ok.. now fast summary of some other days.. went to watch a movie.. chronicles of narnia.. yup yup.. nice.. watched wit a group of frenZ.. even better.. hahax.. went to sentosa.. with my church frenZ.. played and played.. so fun.. but not without some injuries.. hahax.. then went to my cousin's chalet to stay.. hahax.. for 3 days.. totally tired out.. so fell sick.. 3 days b4 sch.. thats like so bad larZ.. but what can i say?? hahax.. kk.. to nu er: long enuf le baZ?? hahax..

kk.. ending my post here.. tata guys.. till next time.. oh ya.. tml going to SRJC for first 3 months.. yup yup.. take care..~~

back back larZ...

2005-11-29T05:55:00.000-08:00

hahax.. kk.. me lazy happy?? hahax.. aiya.. have been playing and playing and playing.. so ya.. hehe.. well.. let me briefly go thru some stuff..

After O levels:

went out.. mostly to play LAN.. cuZ horZ.. the rest all no time to go anywhere else.. yup.. hehe.. then stayed at home to just play anything.. hehe..

Children's Camp:

wah this camp very very fun.. i was the xiao lao shi.. hehe.. planned games and stuff.. hehe.. got to know alot of peopl better.. then got to know some new people.. hehe.. cool.. i love to know new people.. yeah.. widens my social circle.. yup yup.. hehe.. first day was so tiring.. cuZ b4 that i went to play with frenZ.. yup.. then after that go camp.. so tired lorZ.. hehe.. things just passed without much stuff to catch my attention.. then slept at 2am..

2nd day was better.. hehe.. at least more refreshed.. yeah.. and heard the MARI KITA song EARLY in the morning.. kaoZ.. still slping nia.. then the song play.. then sianZ have to wake up.. all thanks to my "cute cute" fren.. hahax.. well.. then the games were all last minute plan de.. so wasnt very nice.. hehe.. but still ok lorZ.. yup.. the day just passed like that too.. yeah.. oh ya.. there is a guest speaker.. kaoZ.. so enthu sia.. then the kids all quite dead.. she the only one enthu in the room.. hahax.. cute.. slept at 12am that nite..

3rd day.. was WATER GAMES!! hehe.. yup yup..SOOooooooo FUN!! ok larZ.. played in drizzle.. lucky no one sick.. yup yup.. hehe.. not bad.. as usual.. being a very "popular" person.. got drenched and soaked.. i can even squeeze water out with 2 fingers.. imagine how wet i was.. kaoZ.. wear white somemore.. thot i wun get much.. sianZ.. hahax.. but was fun.. hehe.. i made lots of people soaked too.. hehe.. then there was a talk abt BGR.. omg.. heard so many times le still need to listen... well.. quite cute lorZ.. SAW PHOTO OF LIN JUN JIE & JUN YANG WHEN THEY WERE IN JC!! hahax.. they look so....... erm... nerdy?? hahax... that nite stayed up to plan for stuff.. and since last day le.. so slept at 2 am..

Last day.. hehe.. nth much happened larZ.. only some minor stuff.. nth much interesting.. yeah.. wah.. the xiao lao shi all very creative.. we had treasure hunt that day.. they hide until so.... invisible.. yar.. hahax.. GOOD JOB!! hehe.. cool.. hehe.. found out i got no voice liaoZ.. hahax.. shout too much.. hahax.. yup.. then horZ.. alot of people ask for emails.. got ppl ask me oso larZ.. hahax.. well.. i gave.. kaoZ.. that nite.. got 3 people add me.. i was like *whew* hahax.. the next day when i open msn.. kaoZ.. i pressed the accept button for 15 sec.. hahahahax..

Prom nite..

hehe.. wow.. saw everyone so dressed up.. looks just so cool lorZ.. suddenly every gal is a chio bu.. wah.. what can i say?? when they all dress up they look brilliant.. hehe.. the guys oso not bad.. hahax.. very very very nice.. then the day started with me going for games.. then go my fren house to dress up.. err.. i just go there wear clothes.. while they make hair.. hahax.. then go together to sch.. hehe.. the nite started off fine.. the emcee was cool.. though the sound system was too loud.. but cant blame.. yup.. then mr and ms prom.. err... dunno them well.. is huang yong and cailin.. yeah.. dunno why though.. thot should be joyce.. ah heck.. hehe.. then got rock band.. but then horZ.. i see everyone taking photos instead of listening.. hahax.. i feel prom nite shld be more sentimental.. but then.. erm.. yarZ.. lalala.. yup.. had fun.. lots and lots.. oh ya.. forget to say.. my table all guys.. then eat food like fight war like that.. within 1 min the food all gone.. u late or eat slow only u dun get to eat much.. hahax.. once the food come.. 1,2,3 all pia for the food.. hahahahhahahahahahahax.. that one i can nvr forget siaZ.. so so so fun!! hehe.. yup.. then after that went to khatib with keith,fab,gary,joanna and xingyue.. hehe.. go there drink milo.. hahax.. then talk talk.. yup yup.. caught the last train home.. then slept at 2am.. cool..

yup yup.. the rest of the days is just slack slack slack.. hehe.. cool.. this thurs going for job interview i think.. hope to get the job.. thats all.. till next time.. tata!!~

hehe...s o s o r r y

2005-10-13T12:14:00.000-07:00

ok larZ.. sorry abt not updating.. one thing is i really quite lazy.. the other is cuZ i cant use the com very often.. not totally lazy ok nu er?? ah well.. lets talk abt some recent stuff..

prelims horZ.. quite stressed.. yeah.. QUITE.. hahax.. that means not VERY stressed.. everyday after paper go home study study study.. very boring period of time.. but no choice.. sadz.. then passed for like a week baZ.. relaxed for a few short days then start to stress and wind up again.. this time for O levels.. yeah.. prelim horZ.. my L1R5 19.. L1B4 13.. 1 A1, 2B3, 5B4.. not bad huh?? compared to my previous mid year score of L1R5 28 & L1B4 23.. crap.. missed the most improved award by 0.3%!! hahax.. well.. not really sadded.. cuZ i have to agree my fren improved more than me.. yeah.. but then horZ.. i was so happy to be getting below 20 points for L1R5.. u guys noe why?? cuZ horZ.. everytime during result analysis.. those below L1R5 will to called up to receive a prize.. last time mid year 23 people from my class go up to receive prize then take photo.. really seems like class photo cuZ more than half the class is up there.. everytime i nvr go up.. cuZ cant get below 20..

this time...... FINALLY got below 20.. i thot i got a chance to take class photo with my frenZ and receive prize.. in the end......... nvr call us up to receive a prize.. nor a class photo.. sobz sobz.. finally i get the chance then cannot u see.. very very sad over it.. but got over it fast.. hehe.. with a lunch with my frenZ.. hahax.. we went to pizza hut i think.. haiyo.. my memory failing me.. forgot is go bk or pizza hut.. erm.. yarZ.. pizza hut.. hahax.. we were a noisy bunch.. hahax.. sat at the table.. ate.. talk loudly.. laughed like crazy.. played and played.. hahax.. then my fren took my other fren's new hp to go take video.. then everyone keep shunning.. then my fren said himself that he very shuai.. everybody went.. WALAO WEI!!!! hahax.. so funny lorZ.. yeah..

i will nvr forget this fun loving yet studious class man.. it is just so fun being in their company.. ah!! i forgot.. our graduation service.. yeah.. happened ytd.. we sat in the chapel.. chatting and joking b4 the service starts.. then horZ.. opening song and things like that.. suddenly everyone so enthu.. hahax.. strange.. maybe last day of sch baZ.. yeah.. sang so loud.. hahax.. sat down to listen to message and such.. then dedications to teachers.. some very funny.. we all kept laughing and laughing.. then horZ my fren sitting beside me keep pestering me.. hahax.. i will nvr forget this name.. LEE WEI LIANG.. hahax.. then the service went on and on.. prize presentation and such.. after that final song is peng you.. nice song.. everyone sang loudly.. i almost cried.. hahax.. then go shake teachers hands.. they keep saying good luck and things like that.. but very very touching.. yeah.. hahax.. after that our class take lots of photos.. hehehehe.. very very very fun!! but ended late.. very very late.. abt 1 plus.. actually shld be 10 plus de.. yeah.. then mr white treat us to pizzas.. ate le.. then went out with frenz..

okok.. typed alot riteZ?? i shall stop here.. take care guys.. tata!! ^4 DEVOTION'05 4EVA!!!^

back

2005-09-03T01:49:00.000-07:00

hehe.. well.. sorry sherman.. hehe.. i forgot abt it.. hahax.. ok.. here is how my sch's teachers' day celebration went..

Start of the day horZ.. our mr wee started saying us.. yeah.. well.. that is quite fine.. after our normal assembly in the morning.. we had the Acers( issit spell like this??) day workout.. my frenZ and i just stood there doing nth.. talking of cuZ.. hahax.. very lame maZ.. yeah.. hahax.. after that we settled down again in the parade square.. hahax.. then proceed to the hall for the indoor programs.. yeah.. starting horZ.. my fren's sis.. Fabieee's sis.. is the emcee.. then in the end give attitude prob.. hahax.. then we are like scolding him, "ehZ why ur sis like that???" hahax.. then the curtain opened.. OMG!! it is the band that performed during carnival day.. hehe.. they quickly sang 3 songs.. so shiok lorZ.. hahax.. then the sec4 guys all shout.. SWEE LARZ!! hahax.. nice.. after that got some other stupid program like taekwondo club performing.. sianZ.. and some stupid skit.. hahax.. we had a good time laughing at them.. yeah.. then Mr White.. my form teacher.. gave a recount on how someone inspired him.. hahx.. actually wanted to shout for mr white.. in the end the class want face.. sianZ.. last year le.. want face for wat??

Then the teachers are all invited onto the stage.. to cut the cake.. hahax.. so big lorZ the 3 cakes that are brought onto the stage.. hahax.. they cut le.. then principal give speech.. yeah.. as usual.. hahax.. mr white get off stage.. class wanted to shout again.. in the end everyone dun dare.. sianZ......... hahax.. yeah.. after that then we dismiss le lorZ.. that was like 10 am like that.. hahax.. kk.. this is practically how my teachers' day went by... oh yarZ.. my twin sis suddenly say not performing.. so yeah.. didnt perform.. hahax..

Just finish my english and SS prelim paper.. SS last min study.. cuZ study wrong topic.. haiZ. but still can write.. hahax.. that s good.. hehe.. gambatte!!! only a few more days to end of prelims.. like abt 17 days?? JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!! guys take care and GOOD LUCK!!! tata!! -gone-

updated

2005-08-28T06:51:00.000-07:00

haha.. well.. ppl complain i hardly update.. well.. not as if i want to update very hardly.. just that i cant find time to do so.. yeah.. hahax.. and nth interesting happened.. so update le will bore u guys.. hahax.. got back my results.. got 22 for L1R5.. quite bad huh... nvm.. i will improve de.. haiZ.. this few days keep playing.. sianZ.. i wanna study.. but the playful side always gets hold of me.. shrugz.. just updating to keep this blog a bit alive.. yeah.. will blog on teachers' day i guess.. cuZ sure very interesting!! cuZ my twin sis is going to perform!! JIA YOU!! =) take care guys!! tata!! -gone-

...

2005-08-15T18:20:00.000-07:00

hmmm... well.. i noe i long time nvr update.. today update lorZ.. hahax.. well.. let me start with national day..

National day:
well.. morning went out to eat roti prata.. hahax.. well.. my parents wanna eat maZ.. so we all go lorZ.. yeah.. well.. ate 2 egg 1 plain.. yeah.. not bad larZ.. quite nice.. hehe.. after that come back home.. study study study.. sianZ.. but no choice have to.. well.. studied quite alot on national day.. that is for the afternoon.. then very tired went to slp.. after which i went to yishun for the celebration @ yishun.. yeah.. hahax.. there got lots of exhibit.. i nvr go see.. very sianZ.. yeah.. well.. weather qutie hot yarZ.. even wear white oso feel very hot.. ate some tidbits for dinner.. and then watched the performance.. so sianZ.. keep adding their own program.. its like we wanna watch the ndp mass display.. in the end need to watch some stupid program.. so lameZ.. lucky nvr waste my time there.. THAT melissa.. aiyoh.. say wanna come find me.. in the end still cannot then ask me find her.. hahax.. so lame rite?? but it is a good way to walk around and away from the stupid performances.. hahax.. found her so quickly.. walked with her abit.. then left her.. hahax.. well.. got someone there whom i am not comfortable with.. so i decide to leave.. yeah.. well.. in the end got scolded IDIOT.. so sadZ riteZ?? T.T

Last Sat: Church Program

well.. its was abt boardgames and food and MUSIC!! hahax.. but i went very early.. abt 1pm when it officially starts at 5pm.. so sadZ rite? well.. no choice.. i game marshal.. need go learn some very cute games.. kaoZ.. then in the morning.. i went to cut hair.. wah.. take like 1hr ++.. so waste my time..wanna update blog but couldnt cuZ of that.. yeah.. after that rushed a meal n then rush off.. well.. reached church late but it seems as if i was one of the earliest.. haha.. well.. after that the program started.. well.. not many ppl.. and then the ambience wasnt exactly the way they wanted.. but it was quite ok.. i got to noe quite alot of new ppl.. hahax.. and then made my own pizza.. so cute rites?? the first time not so nice the second time much better.. learn from mistakes maZ.. hahax.. well.. helped my fren to make too.. but make until halfway leave the rest for her to finish making by herself.. hahax.. well.. played many new games.. then very very happy.. hahax.. well.. but very tired.. left church at around 9pm.. reached home abt 9.45pm.. watched some tv and then went to slp.. hahax.. was so tired then..

this two days are the most happening thing now.. the other things are so mundane.. slp,go sch, study, come home, eat study, sleep.. yeah.. so nth much to type abt.. if u wanna noe abt those things u can come ask me.. hahax.. not as if it is very interesting.. so dunnid ask.. ahahx.. i am not a very interesting person anyway.. hahax.. well.. gtg go study.. no choice.. dun want mama to nag.. yeah.. take care and good luck guys!! *77 Days to O' Levels*-gone-

caRnIvaL

2005-07-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

well well.. it was so hyped up.. hahax.. really really really very nice, enjoyable and memorable.. hahax.. well.. going to file it into my "best memories" folder in my brain.. hahax.. well.. though it is nice.. but oso very tiring and stress at some point of times.. yeah.. let me let u into preparation stage in my class..

Eth there is planning to be d0ne.. usually there would be 1 or 2 ppl who is unhappy.. but then we pressed on.. tried to satisfy everyone.. which is near impossible.. but somehow everyone seems fairly happy on that day.. shrug.. well.. lotsof things needed to plan.. and setbacks came at a date very near to the carnival day.. like "u are not allowed to sell cheesecakes and cookies on that day.. we spent lots of energy and time to let ppl learn and make so we can make enuf on that day.. in 1 day all that effort gone down to the drain.. sadZ rite?? but thank goodness my class recovered from that quickly and immediately launched a second plan.. hehe.. i just love my class.. hahax.. we made the deco in like 2 to 3 days b4 the carnival.. and eth worked out ok.. banners and posters were made.. of cuZ all are nice.. all our artistic ppl in the class has been mobilised to do all that!! hahax.. food committee have not much problem with their stuff as they got a strategic spot.. yeah.. now to games..

games planning went thru rough patches.. yeah.. well.. we thot of a sure win game.. yet ppl are not confident one game can last so long which is like 10 hours.. we thot of a second game.. alot of ideas spring.. we prepared those too.. but in the end.. none of the second or third ideas are used.. somehow our first idea worked.. more than marvellous for us.. we actually didnt imagine it to be so well recieved.. hahax.. even b4 the carnival is open.. a small kid held tickets asking whether he could play.. yeah.. it was a very busy day for the games stall as we handle big crowds and long queues for like 4 to 5 hours.. very hard to take it.. hahax.. in the end we called many ppl to help blow balloons to replace those that have been burst.. yeah.. so it was lots of bustling in the games stall.. sometimes queues get so long until the curb outside our stall (which is very long by the way) none other stalls inthe same row have that much popularity.. hahax.. ppl are attracted to the sure win thingy i guess.. yeah.. finish abt all this.. now for some interesting parts..

well.. at the start someone from the dedication booth came to ask who would like to dedicate a song.. hahax.. we did.. i wrote the comments and my other fren chose the song [Rich Girl] by ciara i think.. and then our vice chairman paid for it.. hahax.. very cute.. cuZ the song doesnt fit the comments.. everyone came to scold our vice chairman.. who in turn scold my that fren.. hahax.. after that my that fren went away.. coming back only when his dedication is being read.. hahax.. "i am sorry for the first song and this a replacement song..."[Untitled] by simple plan.. hahax.. then wat everyone laughed.. hahax.. after that my fren dedicated a song to our form teacher [lets face it.. u are not the master.. try harder next time] song is {Shut up} hahax.. so joke.. then our form teacher was like.. ok.. u do this to me i do this back to u.. he wrote to my fren [lets face it too.. u are not eth u loser!] same song.. everyone was so happy and excited.. hahax.. then we helped our class couple to dedicate a song to one and another.. hahax.. got them both lovey dovey when the dedications are read.. shrug.. hahax.. well.. its was a tiring day for me.. first of all tend the game stall for a long time.. then 10 hours on call.. whoever needs help calls me and some of my other frenZ.. yeah.. then become tour guide... hahax.. but i totally enjoyed myself.. yeah.. went out to eat my lunch and dinner combined after the whole thing ended.. went home to recieve scolding.. wateva.. hahax.. now still very tired.. yeah.. kk i stop here.. take care guys!! be sure to stay happy and work hard for ur studies.. u guys can do it!! SMileZ alwAys!!=) tata~~ -gone-

Dunno wat to update

2005-07-17T13:50:00.000-07:00

LOL!! sorry guys.. nth BIG happened this few days.. so updating my daily life would be very boring for u guys.. yeah.. well.. today have.. hahax.. my frenZ came to my church.. -.-" well.. including my nu er.. hahax.. well.. actually i dunno.. when i going toilet during the service then i saw them.. wah.. was quite shocked and sia shui.. hahax.. well.. the speech to promote my sch is quite out of place.. cUZ most of the ppl in the service is like above sec sch.. hahax.. working and jc.. so come here promote our sch a little strange.. hahax.. nvm..

Well.. then continued with our lessons.. wah.. so big class.. so split again.. aiyo.. i feel that spliting is quite bad.. i mean.. that leaves us lesser chance to bond.. yeah.. well.. no choice.. too big class teacher very hard to control yarZ.. well.. my lesson ended very early today.. we sat there to just chat our time away.. then i was smsing my nu er while others are talking.. hahax.. hey.. i kept get asked to help.. even teacher oso ask me to help when she saw me.. hahax.. well.. i didnt help much.. told others abt my sch and encourage them to buy only.. even if they dun buy i cant force them.. yeah.. well.. they were saying like "erm.. didnt they come not a long time ago to sell calendars??" yeah.. shows how much fund raising our sch is doing.. well.. no choice.. need to raise funds for land lease.. or not our sch name will be gone siaZ.. sianZ.. so ppl.. if u see my sch raising funds.. please help!! :)

well.. last few days.. very busy.. and then got time.. go play my heart out.. yeah.. well.. fun fair took up lots of time last week.. cuZ is this sat 23rd of july.. so need to plan until everything will be perfect.. and need to buy things.. yeah.. well.. next week will be near equally busy baZ.. somemore got tests.. aiyo sianZ.. but i just hope God would help me and my class.. and my sch.. to make the fun fair a success.. yeah.. must let our class get profit too.. hahax.. then year end can have chalet.. hahax.. well.. Chinese O's is officially OVER!!! hehe.. very happy.. one subject less.. YaY!! hahax.. well.. my b'dae.. nvr receive much present.. but then am quite happy with ppl wishing me happy b'dae.. at least some ppl rmb my b'dae.. hahax.. though i am not an easily contented person.. but i dun ask much.. hahax.. k k.. nth much le.. take care guys.. well sherman.. i try to update more often kk?? not much time this few weeks.. nearing prelims and O levels.. yeah.. well.. tata guys!! -gone-

11-7-05 [6 hours & 27 mins]

2005-07-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

those who rmb sth will noe wat is happening tml.. hahax.. well.. not saying if u dun rmb.. dun ask me.. cuZ i will be quite angry at u.. hahax.. well.. nth to blog abt.. everyday is being so routine.. nothing very big or funny happened.. only daily sch.. sch work.. eat play study then sleep.. practically that's my day.. yarZ.. so very boring..

KCP funfair.. well.. food there is alot.. yeah.. but games.. nah.. very little.. and none interest me and my frenZ.. so we just kept walking around and buying food and drinks.. wow.. some students turned the library of theirs into a lan shop.. hahax.. so cutezZ.. like that oso can.. dunno how they get the permission one.. hahax.. well.. but too little com.. play oso not fun.. hahax.. well.. walked around the school.. looks pretty cool.. hahax.. walked into a X-Box filled class.. was quite amazed how they could get those things.. hahax.. then after that met up with more frenZ.. well.. we didnt want to use the tickets.. so we gave all to one fren.. he saw ppl holding balloons.. so he asked me where to find that shop.. showed him there.. and guess what?? he spent ALL the money on ONE balloon for a gal!! we were like errr..... thats our lunch money.. hahax.. but nvm.. we had lots of fun seeing the gal's face turn red when my fren tried to get her to hold the balloon.. after that we all left the place.. i and a group of frenZ went to play lan while others go home 'kun'.. well.. 'kun' means to sleep.. dunno abt it till my fren taught me.. hahax..

well.. today nth much happen.. other than a public scolding.. my teacher just lost his temper at my fren.. cuZ my fren said sth nasty.. yeah.. well.. hahax.. my fren came to sch with nth.. totally nth.. no bag no nth except for his cloths.. -_-" sprained someswhere along his shoulders.. well.. then he is like very funny.. hahax.. wanna ask qns need to shout.. hahax.. cannot like last time raise his hands.. hahax.. well.. then after that we got after sch study.. do maths paper do until go siao.. but then we were playing meanwhile so the experience was quite enjoyable.. hahax.. my fren scold me i scold back.. then scold until everyone laugh.. hahax.. kk.. looks like my life is not so routine afterall.. hahax.. kk.. headache now.. wanna go 'kun'.. hahax.. take care all of u.. sorry for not updating often.. hahax.. tata!! -gone-

Sudden feeling to blog.. hahax.. :P

2005-07-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

Well.. today my bio teacher told us a news.. he is leaving us to go on course to become a Better HOD.. hahax.. puts him into the SENIOR HOD course we guessed.. hahax.. well.. but he sure is a good teacher.. though he has a real hypnotic voice.. he talk i can sleep one.. hahax.. so i always go toilet during his lesson de.. hehe.. but i really enjoy his lessons.. ok.. he is a bad joker.. but then he really have the knowledge.. all in all he is a good teacher.. he even say he come back during evenings to give us extra classes to boost our knowledge of the chim world of biology..

well.. heard one of my fren's prob not long ago.. abt a few days ago?? hmm.. shant go into detail yarZ.. but to surmarise his prob.. he is having a bad cold war with his father.. even till the extent of hating his father.. that is bad rite?? well.. i and my father had a cold war not long ago too.. cuZ i very playful.. nvr go study.. always play play play.. then he not very happy.. yarZ.. i knew its my fault.. so i try not to agitate him further.. i became very guai ok?? hahax.. study everyday worZ.. then steer out of his way.. well.. it all ended suddenly.. like the hiroshima and dunno where atomic bombs drop.. then end le.. yarZ.. ours nvr use weapons larZ.. just 4 words.. i was walking out of the place where i have sunday service.. he was standing by the door cuZ ushering ppl downstairs.. he just touched my head and said "i love u son" that is all that took to make me feel light again.. not burdened by this war anymore.. well.. nth is impossible if we have love.. Love is perhaps one of the strongest forces in this planet.. love makes one care for the other.. love makes one put the other on utmost importance.. but yet love can make ppl kill.. well.. though seldom the case..

Love puts a smile on ppl's face.. a simple "i love u" can brighten someone's day.. well.. "i love u" doesnt means must be boy to girl or vice versa.. frenZ oso can say i love u.. but then we seldom do that though.. -.-" hahax.. Love can move mountains, obstacles.. even love's greatest enemy, HATE, cannot win the power the love.. see how strong love is?? cuZ Love is given by God.. All of us must learn to love one another.. then the world will be a MUCH MUCH MUCH better place.. hahax.. talk until like i so good like that.. well.. i am learning.. everyone shld learn.. hahax.. kk.. am i making sense here?? hahax.. but of cuZ.. say it with sincerity.. hahax.. well.. kk.. i think i am talking crap.. hahax.. take care of u.. if i dun stop here i will be crapping more.. hahax.. tata!! -gone-

/\Sick/\

2005-07-04T19:35:00.000-07:00

haiZ.. dunno why.. suddenly ytd got fever.. and feel so weak.. must be the lan gaming baZ.. but even if play so long wun like that de.. hmm.. dunno larZ.. well.. i still feel quite sick and strengthless now.. how?!

hmm.. talk abt the concert on saturday.. well.. in the morning called my fren.. he straightaway say ok to my request for him to come.. hahax.. forever my good godbro.. hahax.. my long lost fren.. he wun let me down de.. although 1 year nvr see him.. yet he nvr change.. still the same old guy i noe.. hahax.. well.. went early to play game b4 going to meet huangting at outram park mrt station to go to The Third Place.. reached there and got ready to rehearse.. hahax.. then ran to the mrt station to fetch my fren.. ran until my stomach there very pain.. brought him there with aik siong and his frenZ.. well.. reached there and got ready to perform.. was quite shocked and happy with the turnout... not too bad afterall.. well.. 1st song.. danced and sang.. the audience quite enjoyed our song.. was quite happy and excited.. hehe..

after that jamie uncle sang his song and said his testimony.. was very nice.. hahax.. then luke's song.. very meaningful.. then jamie uncle again.. it was as if it was coming from a cd.. really so nice and so GOOOoooDD!! wow his voice is really really very good.. a gift from god i am sure.. then daniel went on stage and said his testimony.. i almost cried.. it really sounded like my life.. i was like.. "oh gosh i cant cry.. not in front of frenZ.. and definitely not there!!" i smsed my fren abt it.. but assured him i wun cry.. so he continued to sit there and enjoy the whole concert.. then we performed.. and the concert ended earlier than i expected it to.. well.. but it is quite ok.. we ended the concert with a big bang with our theme song.. sang and danced my heart out.. then actually wanted to go out for supper.. but then it was like.. there is food at that place.. and yet wanna go out for supper?? hahax.. kk..

ate supper at the place.. chatted and joked with my fren.. tiao suan from start to finish.. and even had 2 ppl gang up to suan me.. kaoZ.. but nvm.. so long nvr let him suan le.. let him have all he want larZ.. haha.. after that went to cineleisure to have a drink.. $3 per bottle?? ok....... hahax.. well.. chatted more.. knew more abt him.. hmm.. he really opened up to me.. let me into his world.. well.. now i know alot of him.. really alot.. well.. i can only be a listener and i did all i can to listen to his probs.. lucky he felt better.. or not i will feel very bad.. cuZ i couldnt do anything to help him..

Ytd went to play lan b4 our duty.. played and played.. got angry at times.. but after that i feel better.. then i started to feel unwell.. so i played crap.. total crap.. well.. after that went back to church to do duty.. was feeling really quite bad.. went to the 3rd floor.. damit.. it is SOOoo dirty.. i dunno how to koreans use the place one manZ.. they TOTALLY dun care.. rubbish everywhere.. leftover food.. OMG.. well.. wat got me very frustrated was a small kid who ran into the room i and aik siong was sweeping and threw the paper on the ground b4 running out.. haiZ.. so wat if they rented the place?? sux manZ.. well.. swept and mopped.. felt worse as time passed.. after that went to east coast and had picnic there.. had the land breeze blowing myself.. feeling even worse than b4.. i finally cant take it.. went home bathed and slept straightaway..

this morning wake up still feel quite bad.. now feeling abit better.. hope i feel good by tml.. hahax.. kk.. think i stop here.. head starting to hurt.. tata guys.. TaKe CArE!!! *Missing U real real badly.. Too bad u dun noe i am refering to u.. haiZ.. i really wanna tell u i love u.. yet i dun dare and alot of thoughts are holding me back.. haiZ.. ^About to Cry^*

Anyway.. my fren has a stead.. OMG!! nvr expected it.. had a shock.. but then wish him all the best.. To TY: U better cherish her worZ!! hahax.. rmb to invite me to ur wedding!!! :P

My WHOLE ytd..

2005-06-28T17:50:00.000-07:00

haha.. yeah.. the whole ytd i was out.. sianZ.. first day at school.. so very tired and bored.. haiZ.. first thing go school is study study and more study.. haha.. well.. just managed to stay awake till after school.. *applause for my own effort to stay awake*.. haha.. i am trying to encourage myself.. aiyo.. sch life is so boring.. WHEN CAN IT END?? soon.. 6 more months.. sianZ..

well.. after school was thinking whether to go choir not.. cuZ not really in the mood to sing.. and no voice too.. haha.. well.. in the end sec 4 choir members one by one tell me they not going.. except jj.. haha.. our forever responsible chairman.. haha.. yarZ.. so i am influenced not to go.. well.. went to play for the whole afternoon.. 4 hours.. wah.. headache after we leave that place.. then i rushed off to outram park.. which means i missed dinner.. aiyo.. i too playful le.. must curb abit sia.. or not soon not or later i will die.. haha.. well.. went to a place called The Third Place.. first look at it i feel that it is a nice place.. stepping in.. wow.. the whole atmosphere was just my type.. cozy and entertaining.. haha.. well.. the sofa is so comfortable.. whew.. sat down almost dun wanna stand up again.. haha.. just wanna stay sinked into the sofa and rest.. was very tired yarZ.. although it is small.. it feels very homely to me.. haha.. practiced and practiced.. had fun with posing.. haha.. and laughed quite alot.. alot of mistakes.. but we are doing fine.. just cant hear ourselves singing.. cuZ music too loud.. but that is a good way to get ppl going with the music.. haha.. if only they could get us some overhead mic.. that would be nice.. haha.. sat mrt.. went home.. bathed and slept.. today wake up so tired.. YEAH!! Tuesday recess the whole canteen is ours!! haha.. no more long queues for laksa!! haha.. kk.. i think i better go.. tata guys.. take care.. *missing her*
PS: wei sis.. u are not a weirdo.. just sensitive.. maybe oversensitive.. but u are fine.. come on.. dun keep thinking everyone hates u.. everyone dun hate u.. just dun keep thinking the bad way.. kk?? take care.. talk to me if u need to k?? if u want to oso can.. haha..
-gone-

ChoiR CAmP!!

2005-06-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

WoW!! I have hardly gone to camps like this.. haha.. so FUN!! well.. maybe not the whole camp is but some programs of the camp made me feel so happy.. and really helped me release lots of stress.. haha.. now i can study better.. but today i am too tired to study.. haha.. imagine sleeping at 4 am and waking up at 7 am by stupid chin kai's hp alarm.. sianZ.. kk... here is how the camp went.......

First Day:
morning reached school very early cuZ sit father's car then he go work maZ.. so went there early.. aiya i lazy to walk.. haha.. then waited lorZ.. supposed to start at 9.30 but then started abit later.. in the morning they didnt plan anything for us to do.. so they ask us to think of group name and cheer.. our group name is so nice,magnificent,important,fantastic.. and it is called.. TOILET BOWL!! wow.. aint it wonderful?? hahax.. it is so important that everywhere oso have.. hahax.. ok... well.. our cheer is quite nice.. i like it alot.. very COOL!! my team is very fun too.. everyone quite open and talkative.. just my style.. haha.. after that sec 1-3 got choir practice.. so i went off to help the camp committee ppl to do up things.. actually i didnt help much.. haha.. kk.. ate lunch.. primary school kids came to our school.. played with them.. they were so CUTE!! very playful too.. poison ball me last survivor.. so happy.. but sad cuZ everyone targetting me.. hahax.. well.. a game larZ.. well.. then after that i organised the guys to play another game.. not bad.. they listen to me.. so went quite well.. at nite got nite walk.. let us watch a movie then go for a walk around the school to find clues.. like treausre hunt larZ.. yarZ.. only give us a candle.. ours went out once but found another group to give us light.. by the way it is 2 by 2 go one.. so i went with a gal.. sister to one of our seniors.. so i shen fu zhong ren.. haha.. nth happened.. got scared real hard once.. then nvr le.. went back and continued watching the stupid show whilst the next 2 go out.. yeah.. each group one time got 2 ppl out there larZ.. then saw some senior's sec 1 video.. laughed and screamed.. everyone was so high.. haha.. then at nite.. nth happened.. slept at 4 am..

Second day..
Woke at 7am.. started activities at 8.30.. which is breakfast.. realyl cannot get it down into my somach.. so nvr eat much.. then go for amazing race around the school.. played hard but lost.. nvm de.. as long happy can le.. hehe.. after taht had some water games lorZ.. wah.. b4 the water games was a poison ball game again.. AGAIN i last survivor.. then got water bombs fly my way.. yeah.. wet even b4 the water games started.. haha.. then after that use flour.. throw ppl.. i kena a few.. but otherwise still ok.. i am shrinking this part the details cuZ wanna talk more on disco nite.. then.. the program we all were waiting for.. DISCO NITE!! i totally enjoyed it man.. starting got a joke performance.. then group performance.. after that is the time we got high.. LIMBO ROCK!! haha.. everyone past the first time.. then slowly lesser and lesser as the bar goes lower.. haha.. then they started shouting names.. i tiao lorZ.. passed but fell down.. hahax.. wah.. our F4 danced.. SO NICE LORZ!! haha.. ehZ.. our choir legendary F4 lehZ... haha.. then during some performances.. we sang along.. danced along.. we formed trains and started running everywhere.. hahax.. shouted and screamed.. clapped along.. wah the whole place was so high!! i hardly have that kind of experience sia.. real cool.. haha.. went on and on till quite late.. then teacher say school closing sianZ.. haha.. in the end my team got 2nd.. haha.. wah.. choir forever ROX man!!! This camp made me enjoy myself so much.. more then i thot i would enjoy.. haha.. but kept thinking of her.. wanted to sms her but then my phone teacher keep.. everyone's electronic item all teacher keep maZ.. then no number.. use my lao pa's phone.. not my real lao pa.. my very good lao pa in choir.. yarZ... used his phone but no number to sms.. yarZ.. so like that lorZ.. okok.. i think i better stop.. i will forever rmb this experience.. haha.. just hope that the church camp oso can have the disco nite.. too bad no everyone is as high.. haha.. CHEERS TO CHOIR!! tata.. PS: to my nu er.. well.. i dun blog often.. so dun check often.. haha.. well.. take care and dun think so much!! study more impt than him.. u will find someone better..
TAKE CARE EVERYONE!! buaiZ ByeZ!! -gone-

b0rEd b0rEd

2005-06-09T19:20:00.000-07:00

Aiyo... very bored sia... nth to do at home.. nth much to update too... nth much is happening nowadays... except that everywhere is going on massive upgrading to compete in tourism sector... and that Johor is wanting to build sth better than singapore... hmm... see just how good lorZ... wah... middle east there... US$150 BILLION... hmm... if i have that much money... *dreaming*

Just went over to my neighbour's house to play game... play until so happy... haha... long time nvr play until so happy liaoZ... study study study has been taking up most of my time nowadays... Quite a boring life yarZ... but then no choice... AH.. i know wat i can tell u guys...

MY TRIP TO A CHILDCARE CENTRE!!
When i first got there to help my fren.. i was sweating and panting thinking abt wat to expect... but then when i got into the centre... eth just melted away... it just felt very heartwarming seeing kids running around playing and shouting... wah i totally love it there man... it is just so funny hearing the kids laugh and joke.. then i just mixed around with them... cuZ i am just a kid in the heart myself.... haha... brought them out to supermarket to let them learn abt budgetting... they screamed and shouted and ran.. i had to like keep pulling them together and then ask them to keep quiet... they like still running around... i bu se de scold them... they all too CUTE le!!! haha.. then i brought them out of the supermarket... cuZ time's up le... then i bought a cup of soya milk and a bread... they fought with me for it.. -.- haha.. but then got one kid very very very cute.. he say he protect me... then he stood around me... pushing away any kid coming close to me.. i left one mouth of bread left he pushed it in my mouth... cute riteZ?? his name is Yan Zhang.. i rmb him... hmm... one day i am going to go back and help again.. wah... missing the kids there... then brought the kids back to the centre... thot can go inside to blow aircon... in the end when open the door the second group of kids already lined up and waiting le -.-"

No choice.. wait outside for all of them to come out... bring the second group there again.. this group more naughty... but i still got them under me.. wah.. i pro rite?? :P then got 2 gals there.. they are like abt pri 5 like that.. then they ask me to hold their bottles and things like that.. treat me as maid... lol... nvm.. kids are so cute.. then this 2 gals keep staying around me... haha... well... haha.. brought them back... ate some of their snack.. then played abit b4 going home... felt very very tired... slept on the mrt till over my stop... sianZ... then reached home late... haha...

kk... i wun go on any longer... haha... sAyoNAra -gone-

SianZ

2005-05-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. my com siao one.. suddenly black out... kaoZ... my entry gone liaoZ... need to retype... sianZ nia... hmm... just finished studying chinese... chinese O level coming... keep studying chinese until sianZ... not much motivation to study... only Mr Soon's "Get A grade eat Swensen.. Get B grade eat Macdonald icecream..." that is spurring me on... lol... i not really aiming for the icecream.. instead... i am trying to find something to motivate me... lol... nth else is motivating me... so i use this one lorZ...

Talk abt the past few days... Sunday i went to East Coast to camp by the beach... Wah... very windy lorZ... dunnid to on fan or even air con... the wind is really very big sia... lol... i love it there man... reached there around evening... pitch tent then start to play abit b4 singing... plugged the ear phone into my ear and start to sing... lol... then lay there to look at stars... very very nice!!! hmm... next time wanna go there again... then dunno why cannot get to sleep... so sat by the beach and let the wind blow onto my face and still look at stars and the moon.. talking abt the moon... it is SO bright and SO round... wow... really very very nice... then horZ... lights from the ships parked in the sea totally lit up the sea... the night scene there is cool... too bad there is only me sitting there... dun have the person i like to pei me... haiZ... impossible to able to be with her one larZ... OOPS!!! wat did i say?? kaoZ... sorry... Forget wat i said k?? haha... 2 am still sitting there... and noticed alot of ppl havent sleep yet... -_-"

The other days is just purely study study study and play play play.. nth other than those... boring life.. Nth much to do nowadays... chinese INTENSIVE class... really "INTENSIVE" worZ... sit there.. give us things.. wanna do then do... dun wanna do then do ur own stuff... so "INTENSIVE" nia... we still there playing chess... talking crap... and alot alot more... then Mr soon always walk in and out of the class... haha... very cute... i am going to miss him when i no longer take chinese sia... lol... aiya... O level so troublesome... need so many things... aiyo.. brief until i gong gong... haha.... in the end fell asleep... haha... i guess thats all baZ... "PS: Nu er... update for u le larZ... :P haha... Take GOOD care k??" Take care EVERYONE!!! SayOnaRa!! -gone-

Exams over...

2005-05-16T19:41:00.000-07:00

hehe... feel more relaxed now... Exams over le maZ.. but then when i want to relax and destress and Decoil... So as to say... i am so wound up... yarZ... Nvr got a chance to do that... keep getting reminded that this is just an exam... not the final one... damn it... there is no final test or exam in one's life... life is full of tests and exams... maybe not like our present type of exams... but there are other exams around... yarZ...

Wateva... Well... lately... i have heard of quite a number of ppl wanting to die becuZ their life is in a very bad shape... becuZ a number of them are my close frenZ... i worry alot for them... wat to do... i am CANCER... very concern abt relationships... and so i am very concern abt my frenZ... Wei guys... Dying is not an option... Dying brings pain and suffering to others... not as if it would do them good like how some ppl think... NONO!!! let me remind u that at least i care.. =) So cheer up... Look on the bright side of life... :)

Heard abt sth i nvr knew abt... last sunday... my frenZ shared with me sth... i nvr knew... oh.. frenZ= my church frenZ in this case... For 15 Yrs... we have been frenZ... and i didnt know until now... i was quite shocked and taken aback... but who cares abt their disabilities... they are still my frenZ and FOREVER will be my frenZ... I still treat them the way i treated them for the past 15 years... ok.. I am not as loyal as i sound... dun get the wrong impression of me... Well... i am happy that they actually shared abt their problems during my class at church.. :) They are my very very very close frenZ... And they will continue to be... If they are willing to treat me as one... Likewise to u guys... =D

today... went to choir... really felt like home... so nice feeling although the aircon was real cold... haiZ... looks like i really need someone to stitch my mouth... I really didnt mean to leak out the secret... i just... haiZ... nvm... no need to explain myself... cuZ it really is my fault... Sorry TWIN!!!:'( was sitting there... watching the choir... wonderful... left them soon after... went home... big fight with my mom... almost just left the house... i got so upset and angry... haiZ... dunno wat happen to me today... very stressed up and unhappy... as if everyone upset me... which is not the case... just feel very wound up inside... cant breath normally... haiZ... Lking someone is so tough... Loving is even harder... haiZ... i dunno... i feel like giving up... i feel like just sitting by Love Road n wait for my Ms Right to come pick me up.. i dunno... haiZ... my bro nagging... he book the com like crap... use like crap... and nvr get scolded... i use for just like 45 mins get scolded liaoZ... WTF... haiZ... i stupid... he smart wat... wat to say... i noe i shldnt be angry... cuZ he has alot to do on the com... but its like sometimes he is just plain chating and he is telling me he is doing hmwk... haiZ... Big brother very big arhZ... wat he want he can get... i cant... sianZ... wateva... i cant control myself... i am angry rite now... take care guys... tata for now i guess... -gone-

BaCk bAck!!!

2005-05-09T04:27:00.000-07:00

hmmm... well... finally update again... hehe... paisehZ so long nvr update blog... was quite busy and had quite alot of things to think of... hehe... lala... Alot of things happened... shall not go into detail... or i would BORE u out with my maybe 6 pages full of details... lol... everything was quite fine... nth big happened these days... exams exams and exams... very stressful... have alot of subjects during just 3 days... haiZ... sadZ...

hmmm... nth much to update... So i didnt update these few days... ok... alot of days... today got some time free... so update abit to let ppl noe that this blog is active... :P well... now all i can think of is EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS... haiZ... wanna relax but i keep getting reminded that i am still in exam cannot slack... aiyo... must rest maZ... ltr head burst how??? all work no play makes me a dull and boring person... i dun like that... hmm... well... a piece of GOOD news!!! I found my twin back!!! hehe... not bad rite... ok.... Just twins... nth more... i rmb the time and date... 9/5/05... 18:20... well i think i would put it here to remind myself... so that i wun forget... i am da ge... cuZ i seem more mature but actually i aint... haha... wateva... ok... MUM scolding again... :( "must wait until 8pm then study one mehZ???" haiZ... forever one larZ... aiya... cant take it... nag and nag and nag... so bored listening to her nag everyday... sianZ... well... i like a new person... But not deciding to go for it... just let it stay that way... i like her... i dunno whether she likes me... cuZ i think she is too good for me... if i somehow manage to be with her... which would nvr possibly happen... i would like hai her... dun wanna do that yarZ... okok... take care peepx!!! GoOd LuCk!!! AlL thE BesT in ETh u GuyS do!!! -gone-

...

2005-04-13T20:48:00.000-07:00

ah... looks like dotZ dotZ dotZ is a good title... haha... cuZ my day really dotZ dotZ dotZ... haha... first half of the day... spoilt... by Mr Wee catching me talking... and making the whole class stay back... walao... i was like so... u noe... feel very bad... make the whole class miss alot of time for recess... haiZ... all my fault... very talkative... when will i eva learn to do things at the rite time??? cuZ i always do things at the wrong time one... siAnZ!! ouch... my knee there very painful... ytd play soccer maZ... then keep trying stunts... in the end colliding with ppl... pain lorZ... shrugZ... YEAH!!! finally ended goal drought... looks like i can perform better in soccer under minimum pressure... yet i need high pressure to perform well for school work... HAHA!!!
well... then go to the technical block there... wah.. die liaOZ... he rmb my name... sadZ!!! haiZ... then he there single me out lorZ... so sadZ man... like i am the black sheep like that... actually i am larZ... well... found out he isnt that unreasonable afterall... he still got ren xing... haha... then after that more relaxed le lorZ... physics... practically slack period... chandra nvr come... free period again... then geog came... but we all went off at 2.30... haiZ... that keith really very sensitive... little thing oso must get angry... wat for??? it is over le... why need to get angry over sth like that??? *guess only a few ppl noes wat i am talking abt... haha...* then i shout to class ask who wanna eat.... in the end hoiki say wanna go eat... actually tee hao dun want to go one... cuZ he no money... but then i bluff him... say he returned me $2.50 twice... i mean... that time he borrow $2.50 from me... then the last time he treat me back $2.50 le.. but i say he returned me $2.50 b4 he treated me... which is obviously not the case... but if only i and hoiki go... tee hao mite not be happy yarZ... and oso very strange larZ... so yar larZ... i treated him actually... haha... he wun noe... :P... i always become dian deng pao... wanna run oso cannot... sianZ... dun like to be lorZ... like intruding privacy like that... then keep reminding me... nvm... haha... then yar larZ... go back sch... wait for father... go dentist... go home... then like that lorZ... wah... the braces very painful... SobZ.... maybe is becuZ v long nvr go... unaccustomed le maZ>.. must reaccustom(is there such a word??)... eat things oso hurt... haiZ...
during the eating time... hoiki was like quote tee hao saying... "nth i ever do is good enuf for u" well.. i gave my advice... then hoiki say.. "see... yuesiang so understanding and so good..." i was like diaoZ... wanted to run... not very good larZ... i can see from tee hao face.. he not really that happy... yarZ... i wanted to say back... "if i were that understanding and good... i wouldnt have lost her... and maybe her leaving me is a good thing... cuZ nth i do is good enuf for her... she deserves the best of eth... and i am clearly not the best..." but of cuZ... they 2 got a small dispute... i add more sadness for wat??? haha... so i keep quiet lorZ... yarZ.. thot to myself alot of things... cant rmb most of them... unless i really search deep into my brain... dun care sia... haha... still coping with things... very different now... suddenly i am in a different world.. so strange to me... i am still trying to grope my way through this strange world... still trying to navigate... i was once so happily accompanied in this world... it felt warm and sweet.... the air was fresh and everywhere was green and nice... i think the world became strange cuZ i lost my light... and my guide... now... i am wondering alone... in a dark, lonely world which once belonged to the 2 of us... but now... it is of MY OWN... -gone-

SYF+Today

2005-04-06T20:10:00.000-07:00

[SYF...]everyone came to the music room with excitement and fear... u could feel these 2 feelings in the room... i was playing chess... trying to relax... haha.. well.. did relax quite a bit... so appeared quite fearless... anything oso say "aiya... nth much one larZ... just go up there sing le then come down... no big deal..." come on... if a leader starts saying he is nervous or scared... then that is the end of everyone's calmness... yar... then warm up and thingyZ begun... not bad... was quite happy with the sound... hehe... can u blive it?? our choir was SO SO SO QUIET!!!! can nvr forget the quietness... haha...
bus ride... sat with jj and david they all... stupid joel... steal away my yiyuan... wakao... i booked him long ago one lorZ... well... nvm lorZ... then i keep asking yiyuan to lend me his mp3... haha... he lent me... i listened until get very high... start to sing along with the music and start to act nutZ... haha.... constance and david they all laugh at me... haha... i dun mind... laughing is a good way to release stress... but everyone reached the SCH feeling nervous... went and wait for our turn in the holding area... then horZ... we hear the choir b4 us... Fairfield Methodist.. wakao... nice sia... so we get more scared... luckily... we managed to calm ourselves down and warmed up fast... tried our songs... turned out fine... wanna start singing sunset... then the official say time's up... sianZ.... we went to the hall... went inside... on stage... started singing... sunset was fine... il est bel le bon(wonder if i spelled correctly)... rushed it a little... shi li hum ba turned out fine!!! we walked off the stage with a happy heart...
sat there listening to choir... laughed at ACSI choir... guys singing gals part... then + their expression... makes them look like gays... HAHA... but i feel that they were good... then go for break... ate sth... wah... the mian so salty.. eat a few mouths then dun want le... was looking out for her... but then cannot find her... haiZ... sadZ... went back to hall... watched a few more schools... laughed somemore... then have to go back to sch le... cannot stay longer arh?? dun feel like studying... nvm... then we stayed at music room... but mrs wong... want to lock the room... sianZ... have to go back to class... no choice...
the result was quite a disappointment... everyone heard that we mite get gold... raised our hopes higher... during my game at lan... i was also hoping that it would come true... at least we leave happier and more relaxed... haha... chinkai was quite mad at me... i play game no manners maZ... cuZ i keep shouting maZ... haha... well... then after that he ok le lorZ... when they reported our result... anyone could sense the disappointment in everyone of PHS choir... haiZ... ppl cried... Ate at cafe cartel.. yang kai treat... ate big plates of meat... then 2 big bowls of ice cream... eat until so full... then they still joked... laughed alot... almost vomit out eth i eat... lucky nvr...
today... not much happened today... routine day... only is that we had our fun laughing at ms giam... she realy.. cannot make it sia... dun think i will learn anything from her lessons... total slack man... haiZ... wat will happen to my physics??? study by myself i guess... wah... my middle finger really make me very hard to write manZ... today chapel mr low or lau... not sure... sing until... err... ok... well... "not bad larZ"... haha... hmmm... -gone-

APRIL FOOL!!!

2005-04-01T21:36:00.000-08:00

ok... seriously outta titles... dotz dotz dotz will do... haha... well... got tricked... damn... in the morning only like that le... wakao... seriously not concentrating man... lack of focus... hmm... today... go to school... waited until people came... then its like i dun have a watch anymore... so i depended on others to give me the time... seok hui came... then phyllis... was still standing there until phyllis was like asking... "arent u all suppose to go to that where mehZ???" haha... then i was like... oh yar... 7 liaoZ horZ... haha... then ask phyllis help me do sth... then went off... go there... no one... then went back class again to get tie... then went there again.. ok... solo bass... well done... sore throat somemore... but still survive lehZ... BleahZ... i thot go there warm up... instead got a whole lot more talking than singing... haha..

today chinese... wah... now i addicted to dai dee le... keep playing when have chance in chinese... haha... played and played until class over... nvr do anything mr soon tell us to do... just keep playing... then chemistry... can be counted as having free periods... cuZ if ppl ask qns... then she will attend to those ppl.. and leave the rest to talk and do wateva we want.. haha.. nice teaching style??? here comes the fun part... we left for choir... everyone taking their bags... my class didnt... bagfree.. haha.. then went to warm up... unbelievable... the whole choir was formed up in a matter of a few minutes.. usually take very long one... today so fast... haha... sang and sang... ms yee saw me leaning downwards to talk to yiyuan... i falling le ma... so hold on to him... then she said... "yue siang.. wanna commit suicide izzit??? can leave the thot to after syf???" Of cUZ!!! why not??? haha... then walk in walk out... then... yar... performance TIME!!! all the choir members sang the school song loudly... but out of timing.. cant hear music maZ... but all together fun... walked in... sang our pieces... walked out... hear principal talk... jogathon talk... then dismiss... wah... when mr wee walk past.. everyone sit straight and shut up... haha... cuteZ...

went home straight after that... since there is nth for me to stay in school for... and since my mum is cooking... yar... long time since i ate wat she cooked... i mean for lunch... yarZ... seok hui kept saying i am not alrite... am i??? i dun look so rite???i am very FINE... i wrote a long long essay today... fabiee keep saying.. "wah... yue siang... ur essay skill 神了!!!" haha... cuteZ fabiee... haha... well... i am feeling very "well"... so guys dun worry for me... especially seok hui... yarZ... i will try to feel well yarZ... cant expect me to be feeling so well just after such a blow yar... still lying in a pile of ruins... well... guess i am going to stop here... see ya guys... -gone-

nth much...

2005-03-31T18:25:00.000-08:00

hmm... today is just like other days... wake up go school... study study... then come home... aiya... nth much abt today... but got alot of free period!!!! :D played my time away... well... feeling headache and dizzy... then sore throat... yet still shout so much... haha... laughed alot during maths period... yiyong "became" a pastor... then down there asking some couples in the class whether they willing to do this do that... aiya... like the marriage time like that... then act chinese accent.. made the whole class roar with laughter... dunno wat to say sia... well.. physics lesson... the teacher like talking to herself... no one listening to her... everyone happily talking away... well... that's the way my class is... talkative... but when comes to studies... they are so kan chiong... haha... well... give me so much stress... wah... read a lttr joanna sent to me... nope... she didnt write to me... she letting me see what a guy wrote to her.... yar... it was so touching... so mushy... and yet so wonderful... describing love... and at the same time telling her how much he loves her and wants to be with her... compare with myself... totally is like... he is the heavens... i am the hell... the difference is so tremendous... 望尘莫及.... wah... CMI nia... seeing couples in love... reading their diaries... makes me think of the past... so feel like... lalala... well... to my mei... GET WELL SOON!!! take good care... may god bless and cure u... i will pray for u...

well guys... guess wat??? i am... -gone-

today...

2005-03-28T20:00:00.000-08:00

today went quite well... haha... with a new physics teacher... haha... she is so funny... make the whole class laugh at her... first she put her name big big on the screen... haha... MRS GIAM... PHYSICS TEACHER... haha... funniest joke i ever seen... then it's like she got rules on what to do when she ask qns... haha... so joke... really a big fat joke... she teach... ppl answer... just to make fun of her rules... haha... everyone had a great laugh... including me... who "laughed" the most "Happily"... then today choir... row-sectionals... my row horZ... sing until v soft... but then... still quite fine... on tune can le... haha... but other rows have some problem... which is quite bad as ppl cried... hmm... hope they are fine now... i noe everyone is very anxious abt the competition... so some quarrels will appear... but just dun let it affect us so much k??? we must work towards a common goal... SYF get either gold or silver... at least the seniors can leave choir noeing ms yee is still there to teach choir... and let us leave nicely maZ.... haha... well... feeling really sick... can dun go to sch one... then wun so much prob... haha... but then still went... cuZ of choir... must attend even if sick... or do i have another motive??? i dunno.. i myself am hesitating now... i guess i and ian are of the same kind... FILM... Failures In Love Matters.... yar... very nice rite??? hey... i think one ok??? shld i go and fight for her??? haiZ... i have confidence... that if i fight for her... i mite stand a chance... but... i dun think i have enuf confidence to give her nth but happiness... not like him i guess... i so badly wants to be with her... cuZ i really really so love her... i really wanna be by her side... taking care of her... sharing my whole life with her.. grow old with her... but i... haiZ... i just sux ok??? wrote all my feelings on a piece of foolscap... haha... put it in my student organiser... haha... at least if i have no one to talk to... i have the paper to write to... yar... hmm... guess i stop here le... byeZ guys...

NKF

2005-03-25T09:33:00.000-08:00

hmm... the NKF ppl dunno how they think... give us some very "cute" card that goes for $5 per pack... haha.. who would buy??? so expensive sia... its like... some ppl take out their wallet while i tell them abt the donation... then they ask how much for the cards... i said $5... and they say "wah... ok... i just donate can le..." haha... i think if they like last year give us pens horZ... i think i can sell lorZ... i mean those cuter and cheaper and kids like them... this kind of cards people can buy from the bookshop... cheaper somemore... and it is not very often used... hmmm... but then... cuZ i cant sell... and so many things happen in such a short time... i still cant digest totally... so was feeling depressed.... then everyone say go play lan.. then just go along... played... released stress... but still feel very empty... hmm.... shrug... okok... gtg le... cyAz~!!

Feelings...

2005-03-21T20:07:00.000-08:00

hmmm.... this is the hardest thing to control... yeah... u just cant help loving someone... u just cant help feeling angry or happy or sad or wateva u can name... well... i have been thru most of these feelings in just the past few days... haha... nvr blogged for quite some time... cuZ i dun think there is a need to blog in all my nonsense... now just blogged for fun... dun have to read it one... just wanna clear some inner feelings... yeah...

well... alot of things happen... so suddenly... so unexpectedly... shocked me... shook my world... turned it upside down... nearly collapsed it... hmm... at the start... i only thot of crying... nth other than crying out... but i cant... if i fall... then others will just fall with me... there must be a pillar of support... although i was very affected and saddened... but i just stood firm... so that there is me u can fall upon... cried while talking on the phone... so scared to lose u... but i dun want to let me affect anything u decide... coke and pepsi... kept discouraging u to take pepsi... cuZ coke is more enjoyable if u find the rite one... actually... i could hold it out... but then... another crashing blow almost made me crack under the pressure... then... stupidly smsed her sth to make her to cry... yar... that's me...

sometimes.. i hear abt sth... i get affected... but i will try to mask them... just to potray a very happy face to others... u mite wanna ask me for wat?? well... why affect ppl's mood when u are sad??? for example... ppl are happy... then u suddenly give a sad face.. yar larZ>.. u get it?? only when i am alone... or my "bottle" is overflowing... then i will blurt them out... sth like... "clearing my mood"... yar.... so that i can try to forget those things and be "happy" in front of others... hmm... but not all the time i also acting one ok... i am not a professional actor... haha...

am suffering for lack of sleep... dun mind me... i am blurting out nonsense... yarZ... guess i stop here for u guys...

DeAr: read ur blog... guilty?? feel bad??? haiZ... sorry... i think i noe why u feel bad... and guilty... aint sure... as i say... i can guess... but cant confirm... yar.... dun hurt urself... not good... i aint hurting myself le... so dun hurt urself anymore understand??? i noe u and him have quite a lot of things to talk abt... but then... ur health is very impt... cannot sleep late all the time... as time goes by... it will take a toll on u... i am not trying to force u to do anything... nor am i jealous of u two that's why ask u to reject his call at nite... i am just worried abt u... in the end it is still ur choice whether u wanna talk or not... yar... hmm... it is true u have to lose sth to gain sth... no pain no gain as they say... yar... i dunno... i dunno wat to do to help u... sorry... do u need some time to sort out??? if u do... i will give u some time... hmm.... no matter wat... i will love u forever... this is a promise i am willing to make to u and god... and i am not going to break it... i swear... if there is anything i can do to help... tell me k??? i will surely do it...

Just so loving her...

2005-03-14T18:47:00.000-08:00

i miss u... i miss u... i miss u... i miss u... i miss u... i miss u... i miss u... i miss u... i miss u... i miss u... haiZ... i really so so MISS U!!! ok... nutcase here... hmm... i am going crazy... so i typed out 1 crazy entry... haha... well... i also wanna say.... I LOVE U ALOT!!!! hmmm....

today woke up feeling very tired... haha... slept at 2 woke at 6... not tired??? haha... well... then go for physics class... i thot i late le... but in the end mr tan havent come yet... haha... sat there talking... when mr tan come... around 9:20 le... haiZ... he didnt teach much b4 i left.. cuZ have choir... then he say until so... u noe... make us in a dilemna.. cuZ he say he doesnt wanna go against the admin... who issued orders that choir members can leave for their sessions.. dun care wat is going on... can just leave... yar larZ... but no choice... so i left... went up to choir room... feeling very tired... saw sth... then got a little upset... dun ask wat's that sth... i wun say a thing... yarZ... went to stairs... cuZ really not feeling well... went there for a short sleep... then went back choir room... was thinking of quite alot of things... again... dun ask me wat i was thinking abt... cuZ it is really so stupid... and i shldnt be thinking of these kinda things... sometimes i really would like her to show sth more to me... like john said.. a confirmation or to tell me abt her inner feelings and thoughts like that... yar... ok... i am blabbering rubbish...

haiZ... choir ah choir... always so late then start... always not punctual... cannot like this nia... like that syf how??? hmm... well... sang for a while... really cant take it... so sat down... haha... then all the boys follow me... haha.... so cute... then ms yee called us up lorZ... we sang and sang... i really have to admit we arent up to standard today... although i am not musically-inclined... i at least can hear and noe whether good or not... haha... then the percussion... wakao... was quite fed up... either they too fast or too slow... haiZ... or it is us?? shrugZ... well... committee meeting... tot will be v long... haha... in the end... come and go... haha.... well... the AJ concert ticket... wah... power nia... haha... then went out to eat... play arcade... then go home... yar larZ... was quite happy... dun wanna go into details... i keep them inside me... dun wanna tell u all... :P haiZ... tml such a long day... hope i can survive....

To My dear...
hmm... am very worried abt u... u sure u are ok??? hmmm... take alot of care worZ... thanks... i was quite happy just now... hmm... well... haha... tml i go play with kids... jealous not?? haha... really cant stop loving u.... 1 yr soon... hope we will last forever!!! :D oh yar... hmmm... do sleep well tonite k??? tml will be quite tiring... tml morning wake up later baZ... hmm... MuackZ!! HugZ!! anyway... hmm... just asking... can u wait for me at the entrance of VCH??? hmm... i wouldnt like to sit alone in the whole hall... and of cuZ... i would like to sit with u... hmmm... or i meet u somewhere??? oh... rmb to eat ur meals horZ... cannot skip any... play badminton very fun??? hmmm... hope u did have fun... have to rush here and there tml... hmm... hope can make it in time for the concert... okok...stopping here... byeZ...

Letting my imagination flow...

2005-03-11T14:20:00.000-08:00

haiZ.... why.... why would such a thing happen??? wat exactly is going on??? haiZ... i dunno... i am so lost... really very lost... i just hoped that ytd's thingy will go away.... looks like it hasnt... all my fault... eth is my fault... stupid me... always so naive... very naive... i just have a feeling.... a real bad feeling... haha... hahahahahahahahahahaha.... who cares anyway??? NO ONE WILL!!! cuZ i am just this loner... who has no one to talk to except for my blog... who would care to listen to me??? who would understand what i am going thru??? NO ONE!!!

today when i woke up and getting ready to go to choir... i got scolded... so badly... then when my parents left the house... i threw eth on the ground... my socks... my wallet... my bag... even my watch... which now lies in pieces... cant be used anymore i guess... but i dun care... i dun think i ever need that again... felt so angry... took the mrt... went to school... on the way saw jill... so went up together... but no one was there... the door wasnt open... then i went off to vent my anger.. and frustrations.... at the place i am so familiar with... just kept banging and kicking... and clenching my fists until they turn white... then i saw ms yee go up... i ran down all the way and tell those ppl at the canteen... seems like it was meaningless... they already got the msg... so i just went up... saw her... walking... so much so much wanting to talk to her... but then i just stayed behind... thinking she doesnt wanna talk to me...

during the break... i plucked up all my courage and went over to give her her b'dae present... stayed up quite late just to finish it... am feeling so tired... she didnt even bother abt me... just looked away... i put it on the floor... and walked away... then i went to talk to her again... she just put her head on her hands and didnt bother to reply me... guess she is still angry at me.... of cuZ... i am real good at making ppl angry... making ppl tired of me... and making ppl give up on me... maybe it is time everyone gives up on me... and dun care abt me... just leave me... and i will withdraw into my own lone world... then... everyone will be trouble-free... dun u all think so??? she doesnt have to be sad becuZ of me... dun have to feel hurt becuZ of me... she can just be happy... forever happy... that is all i want... her to be happy forever... no matter with who... just be happy.... and if i am the one making her upset... i will leave... cuZ i dun want her to be upset... even at the cost of myself... i want her to be safe and happy...

choir ended... walked with her... asked her things and she didnt reply... den suddenly she told me she was going out with ian and ask me to go off... i did as she told... but then... we met jonathon... she kept asking him to go along... i couldnt take it... i ran off... i didnt bother looking at any side... i just ran... if a car just nice comes by... then bye bye world.... went up to the platform... felt like crying... actually... i cried out... but only for a few secs... she came up the escalator... with ian... well... then they started talking... a priviledge i dun have today... seeing them together... i cried again... haha... i am dumb rite??? i hit my head against the pillar... banged my hands hard on the wall... kicked my ankles against the wall... and i even wanted to jump onto the track when the mrt comes... she took the marina bay train... guess shld be going to AMK... so i walked... to the other side of the platform.. trying not to look at where they were... and i kept hitting... i guess ppl there think i am nutZ... no... i am perfectly sane... haha.... u noe wat??? i even tried to calm myself down by thinking she will wait for me at bishan... HAHA!!! now see how naive i am??? hahahahahahaha.... such a pathetic loser... i am born on this earth to waste the earth's resources... totally useless.... walked home so lost... havent spoke at all to anybody... just dun feel like talking... AT ALL... didnt eat much lunch.. not planning to eat dinner... not planning to eat anything... no appetite at all... totally feel like crying again...

to everyone who reads this blog... if u noe who the she is... pls treat her well... she is such a good person... yet being hurt umpteen times... she is the most perfect being on earth for me... but i dun think i am confident enuf to keep her... cuZ i totally feel that i am not worth her... she doesnt deserve such a lousy guy like me... she deserves a very blissful relationship... and not a sad one... but i dunno... nearing 1 yr... haha... wondering if we could even last till then... wondering if we could even last till tml... but there is one thing for sure.... i will love her forever... even if she doesnt love me anymore... yes... i blive it when she says she will love me as long as she lives... i have faith in her... but who can tell wat will happen in the future??? i am so so so afraid to lose her... but if God decides i am going to lose her... wat can i say??? i of cuZ wanna hold on to her... be with her... forever and ever... just to be with her i can sacrifice all other things... she is just so important in my life... i cant live without her... really love her alot alot... guess i have written too long... bye...

Additional : Why... tell me why did u try to anger me??? i dun understand... really dun... tell me... i really wanna noe... yes i got angry... but at myself... not u... i can get very angry at anyone but u... i can nvr seem to be able to get angry at u... haiZ... i am fine... i guess... except my stomach is not feeling well... and my hands hurt... but dun try to do anything to hurt urself... if u do... i will be real sad... really very sad... cuZ... i dun want any harm to come to u... cuZ i so so love u!!! missing u terribly... thinking of u every sec every min... just cant stop loving u... do u like the gift??? hope u do... see ya...

hmmm...

2005-03-07T18:55:00.000-08:00

ok... quite a while... about 3 to 4 days nvr update le baZ... haha... didnt get a chance too... either com spoil or no time... real busy these few days... really very tired... haiZ... hope it will be over real quick... or not i mite break down... haha... of course not so serious larZ... hehe...

hmmm... ok... recap the last few days... that day of the preview... i sent her home... wanted to send her all the way... but in the end i made her quite upset... i noe she was worried abt me... cuZ i sent her home... and i have to go home alone... but i really wanna see her home safely... so no matter wat she did or said i followed her all the way... cuZ it was quite late le... i am afraid... cuZ her house there v dark.. so i am scared sth mite happen to her... yarZ... didnt see her walking to her house... was very worried... i ran up the stairs as fast as possible... used all my energy... when i came to the 8-storey... i saw her standing there... she stared down at me... but i couldnt reply... cuZ i was totally exhausted... my stomach was aching... head throbbing with lots and lots of pain... so i asked her to leave.. cuZ i am afraid i mite collapse in front of her... luckily i made my way home safely... though almost got banged...

sat... choir started at 9.30.. wah... so early... wanted to sleep later oso cannot... well... no choice... syf coming maZ... then it is like we went for sectionals... was quite fun... and interesting... we learnt alot and perfected our singing... hehe... well... after that we went for lunch... sat there totally quiet... except sometimes when ppl talk to me... the rest of the times i just sat there listening and concentrating on my meal... WHY DO I HAVE SO LITTLE FAITH!!?? WHY DO I FEEL THOSE THINGS I FELT!!!!??? i noe she loves me... but... WTF WAS I FEELING???!!! nvm... it is over... so forget it... then at nite... we were chatting on the phone... she was mentioning abt sth... yet dun wanna tell me... despite the amt of persuading... she just wouldnt tell me... bad for me??? will hurt me??? i dun care... it is at least better than let my imagination run... rite??

today... really shldnt have passed her the letter.... really had a good mind to tear it up and throw away... but in the end i still gave it to her... feelings??? yar... my damn jealousy... stupid me... why must get jealous of HIM??? haiZ... really slapped myself... sorry... i have so little faith... but do believe me... i love u forever... and i will always LOVE U!!!! wanted to send u home... but then u ran off to catch the bus with yiyuan... so i nvm... haha... at least u got yiyuan going home with u... (nope... i am not jealous of yiyuan... he is one of my fren...) hmm... take good care... dun fall sick... i am not feeling v well too... haha... see ya!!!

so sad...

2005-03-01T03:40:00.000-08:00

hmmm.... easyjournal got prob... keep getting a negative response when trying to update my journal... stupid server dun let me update... kaoZ... nvm... so here is a new blog... hope this will be better then easyjournal... hmmm... not feeling quite good these few days... dunno why... my head hurts alot and my stomach too... my heart aches at times too... (not from any hurt i received...) breathing oso gets difficult at times... must be the haze...

stupid mr sim... haze lehZ... PSI near 50 le... still want us to run?? sianZ... keep trying to deter him... but to no avail... finally... we are at the stadium getting ready to run... he told us... get a C grade next week dunnid run le... i was so spurred by that... the whole 6 rounds i didnt stop... i was pacing munling cuZ i think her speed and stamina almost the same as me... maybe even better... but at the last lap... i heard mr sim saying 10:42... so i was even more spurred... i cheong all the way... throwing munling behind... exhausting all i have... in the end... when i reach the finishing line... i heard 11:31... i was so damn pek... so i was like asking mr sim whether can take away 1 min or not... was so happy i got a C... haha... who noes... when i see the results... i actually got 12:31 instead of 11:31... i was so devastated that i pounded my fist on the track so hard that it left a mark on my hand... haha... the mark is still there... when he asked us to leave... i was the first to go... walking away from the class... and reached sch... no appetite to eat at all... haiZ...

then at 1:30... i thot can go... but then when i ask whether they wanna go not... they say dun want... why??? becuZ i wanna study... F***!!! i got so fed up and so angry that i exploded... was surprised at how big my explosion was... then when we left... i actually didnt want to eat... but my stomach hurts so much that i was forced to eat... ate le then changed and got ready for the thing... she was left behind to lock the door of the music room... but CO keep going in and out... so she got very angry and frustrated... somehow i saw ms chung... so i asked ms chung to help her... ms chung agreed... she already missed 1 rehearsal... cant afford to miss another... then at holding area... i was so hoping she would come and talk to me... haha... i actually knew that wouldnt happen... but i chose to hold on to false hope... not ur fault my dear... cuZ i am NATO... no action... talk only.... keep saying i wanna spend more time with u... in the end i actually didnt take the initiative to talk to u... "frenZ are more impt..."<--- by hoiki... didnt help to dispel the sadness swelling within me... but it was all my fault..

when we were suppose to go meet mrs tan in the hall... i made a lame excuse saying that there mite be ppl up there so i wanna go check and ask them come down... haha... my motive was to look for u... haha... ki siao rite??? i ran up from hall to music room... my head throbbed with pain... i just wanted to faint on the way out of the choir room... so went to stairs... really wanting a hug... and my head hurt... didnt wanna go back hall... so sat there massaging my head... then i heard ppl going to choir room... so i act as if i came up from hall too... haha.. then i went off without waiting for anyone..

To My Dear...
how are u??? are u feeling fine?? stomach still painful?? head lehZ??? aiyo... all i am thinking of is u... eth is u u u ... i am nutZ... nutZ over u.... i love u.. really do... i miss u alot alot... haiZ... Really sorry if somehow leaving abruptly has hurt u.... i didnt mean to... it was just my headache and my own sadness... none of it is ur fault... really.... oh yar... i heard u are really determined to take higher chinese... JIA YOU!!! i will always be behind u... always will support ur decision... take good care... i am not mad at u... really wasnt... anyway... u just look so good in the choir gown... call me crazy all u want... but that is the fact... hmmm.... see ya...